Does love have to be conventional?

If you ask someone in our western society about what love is, they will probably describe it as a direct feeling towards one representative of the opposite gender. As the type of love they feel for their mother, the other type for their kids, a third one for their friends, for their pet and so on. But is there such thing as correct love? When have we been told that it has to be a well-defined feeling pressed in between conventions?

Imola Bégányi


This chain of ideas have been born in my mind after watching Yann Arthus-Bertrand’s film about trying to define what makes us human. The first topic was of course the world–shaking feeling of love. The most interesting and eye-opening realization was that none of the interviewees were sharing the same idea about love. They had different ways of how to live it, different paths they’ve been on to find it or even stating that they’ve never experienced it in their life, which is the most tragic loss I could imagine.

The only hint these people had in common was the need for love regardless of its nature.

For a transgender person love has meant to be finally accepted, for a criminal to be forgiven for his committed murders, for an American man to be respected by his woman and at the same time being open for conversation and common emotional development. At a certain level the way we think about love is defined by the society we live in. This is very well confirmed by the broad variety of people appearing on the camera. The most shocking attitude for our western civilization is how for e.g. an African woman describes love in her polygamous marriage, where she can honestly love the second wife of her husband as a friend and can manage to live in peace together. Another unconventional perspective is of a man who loves the opposite sex in general and is able to feel it equally strong for three women simultaneously, without feeling guilt. Unconditional love was very well shown by another man who has taken care of his wife in her last paralyzed years. By one who has managed to find it without arms and legs. By an Asian woman willing to do everything to finally be loved.

Ourselves is the only person we should listen to when it comes about love. Only we have the exclusive right to define what it means for us because at the end of the day the only thing that matters is what if feels like.

‘Love is where we come from, where we’re going and what we live between the two. Love is everything.’ The best line in the film in my opinion, even if it sounds as a truism we should be reminded of these cliches from time to time, especially that we tend to forget their significance in this fast-paced world.

Love is not a law that has to be implied. It is time to realize that love doesn’t have to be manifested as it is told by our parents, taught in school, judged by the society, defined by the media, shown in movies, written in the Bible or degenerated in porn.




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